Today I took my daughter to a birthday party for one of her
friends. Little Miss was so very excited
to go because this party was a pool party.
Rented pool, lots of people I know…and me in my swimsuit.
My swimsuit isn’t immodest; it has black legging shorts and
a purple patterned top. No midriff. No upper thighs. And I wear a pair of old green regular shorts
over top of all that. Just me in my
swimsuit.
Kaley Cuoco on Instagram
There were about thirty kids in the water. Maybe ten moms on the sidelines. One dad in the pool with a preschooler. And me in my swimsuit.
Yesterday I was telling my husband I was considering not swimming. My daughter insisted. And I didn’t have a good reason. The group was nowhere near the cap on people
in the pool. My daughter isn’t the best
swimmer yet. No excuses. Just me in my swimsuit.
So I packed my swim bag. Flip flops. Beach towel. Green ratty shorts. And me in my swimsuit.
At the pool I hesitated.
When I realized most adults weren’t even getting in the water, I really
did not want to. I wanted to sit and
make chit chat with moms. I wanted to
sit on the sidelines like all the other moms.
I wanted to keep my clothes ON and not bare my
arms/shoulders/chest/back. But I slowly
started changing my clothes, keeping the most of myself covered up. There I was…me in my swimsuit.
I led my daughter through the locker room, showered, and
opened the door. I was standing on the
pool deck…just me in my swimsuit.
I could have disappointed my daughter. I could have made the choice and just said no
to my daughter. But I knew that was
wrong. I’d be teaching my daughter all
the wrong things. Giving up. Hiding from the world. Being ashamed of your body. Fear over fun. Letting others dictate what you enjoy. So I waded into the pool…me in my swimsuit.
I love swimming. The
smell of chlorine hitting my nose as I felt the water around me was a euphoric
experience for me. As I played with my
daughter the water mostly covered me to my shoulders anyway. I could have missed that if I’d listened to
the fear and insecurity telling me to cover myself up. So there I was…more than 200 pounds
overweight, playing with my daughter in the water…
…just me in my swimsuit.
Just Me!
(Not in my swimsuit...I was in the water, I couldn't take a picture!)
